Today, I shall tell the story of reading and finals weeks through music videos. Bear with me, and prepare to go on a magical auditory journey. If you’re no fun, you can skip to the bottom and get a link to the Spotify playlist. Please note that this post may be a bit hyperbolic, so don’t take the song descriptions literally. Again, this is a parody. Finals week isn’t this crazy, but it sometimes seems like it. Enjoy the music!
Monday, December 8th, afternoon – “I Can” by Nas. Inspired, you lay out your studying plan for the day, and begin reviewing your notes for your first exam. You stay up late studying.
Wednesday, December 10th, 7pm – “On the Road Again” by Willie Nelson. You realize that changing study spots would make you more productive. You move to the law library, but it doesn’t feel right, so you walk to Bauer Hall. There are no tables in Bauer. you move to Seigle, but the ambiance isn’t right. You hike to the architecture library but aren’t getting a good vibe there. In a flash of inspiration, you realize that the DUC formal lounge is the place to be. You go there but it is packed. You give up and walk back to your dorm to study in your room.
Wednesday, December 10th, 10pm – “The Show Goes On” by Lupe Fiasco. You need to de-stress from all the study spot struggles, so you put on Netflix to watch an episode of Breaking Bad. You watch seven episodes of Breaking Bad and fall asleep.
Thursday, December 11th, 11am – “Don’t Stop Believin'” by Journey. You grind out studying before the exam starts.
Thursday, December 11th, 1:10pm – “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen. All the questions on the test are over the exact things you’d reviewed. You finish early.
Friday, December 12th, 10am – “”Till I Collapse” by Eminem. You lay out an intricate study plan for next week’s exams. One is on Monday, and two are on Tuesday. You start working.
Tuesday, December 16th, 4am – “Livin’ on a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. You realize that you’d forgotten to study the last chapter your teacher assigned you; you hadn’t thought it would be on the exam, but it will be.
Tuesday, December 16th, 5pm – “School’s Out” by Alice Cooper. You finish your exam, walk out of the building, and fall asleep for the next 15 hours before heading home for winter break.
That ends our journey, dear readers. I hope everyone enjoyed it. Please remember that this is satire and not really how finals week is. I definitely can’t eat 17 pounds of Oreos.
Here’s the link to the Spotify playlist. You may notice that the Beatles song isn’t on there. My apologies. I’ve been emailing Paul McCartney to get him on Spotify, but he hasn’t budged on me.